Some additional thoughts on Susan Mernit’s session on the web and sexuality at Gnomedex — I think that having what I would call naked and unashamed conversations (to modify a phrase) about sex in blogs, etc. is a really compelling way to provoke ourselves into talking about important stuff in our face to face relationships.
There are so many instincts that tell us to not talk about anything that may leave us exposed and venerable — and yet, when we do that, especially in an online context, so many cool things happen (in my experience anyway).
Whether it’s discussing frank and aggressive sex in the context of marriage or talking through the ups and downs of your relationships or working through depression — whenever I take the figleaf away for a moment (or my beautiful wife does), people come out of the woodwork to say the same thing, over and over —
Two powerful little words that aren’t technology words — no Web 2.0 — no huge business plan to take over the world (or save it).
Two words that are just, well, human — and really powerful.
Am looking forward to participating in Susan Mernit’s ‘Sex & Longing & Web 2.0‘ session at Gnomedex today.
Hope to read th risqué and beautifully provocative poem ‘Hey You’ by Linford Detweiler of Over the Rhine that I posted to a publicly viewable church bulletin board back in 2001 — an action that played a part in the chain of events that I call ‘the wooing my beautiful wife Jen’.
Text is below — it’s got a luxurious use of F-bombs — you’ve been warned — now take a quick read while nobody’s looking.
by Linford Detweiler
Fuck me, she says,
And it’s not an exclamation
It’s a plea
Fuck me feels different
In the marriage bed
It’s not like it’s forbidden
Fuck can be such a hateful word
But she’s in love
Trying on the name wife for size
Fuck me sort of suits her
She loves to laugh
And she wants something carefree and crude
Fuck me and all of a sudden it’s a playful prayer
We both still want to do something good for the world
We both believe in miracles
Fuck me and there are better words for it
We both know
But the way she says it makes you wonder
Fuck me please I’m soppy and smooth
The world is disappearing
And it’s not so much the please it’s the possibility:
It’s the possibility
That this life is going to break us into pieces
Knock us reeling and silly with painful joy
And the word fuck is suddenly a tiny praise chorus
A slap happy swing at a tipsy God
The joke’s on us
And this is our sweet redeemer
Looking down on a tangle of man and wife
A happily shipwrecked bed
It’s not like he hasn’t seen it before
But he’s even blessed a dirty word
Thank you Lord
. . .
copyright 2000, Linford Detweiler